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Early motherhood & loss of confidence 

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We have all experienced starting a new job. Our feelings about our new job might differ depending on how well the job is suited to us, or how badly we wanted the job in the first place. Generally though a new job comes with feelings of excitement, hope, happiness but also anxiety, nervousness and perhaps fear if the job is quite different to anything we have done before. On the day of the new job you might walk in putting on a brave face, pretending your confident and that you’ve got this, but in reality you feel well and truly out of your comfort zone. The weeks and months to come might be very stressful trying to learn the new skills you need. If you struggle to adapt to your new job you could feel like your the only one having a difficult time and it could affect your confidence…

Welcome to first time motherhood.

Looking down at your tiny newborn baby in their capsule, ready to leave the hospital for the first time, with this new delightful member of your family. There is a roller-coaster of emotion going on, excitement, joy and the big question being, what the hell do I do next? 😳

From the way I chose to deliver my baby, to my difficulty to breastfeed my daughter, you name it, I felt anxious about it, and my confidence suffered.

Once you have lived through something you can understand it and feel confident after having gained that experience. Before you try something new though, even if you have a plan of attack you can still feel unsure of your choices, without knowing what the outcomes will be.

It’s surely impossible to feel 100% confident throughout the first year of your first child’s life. Well that’s if you’re a freak like me anyway. I’m a control freak to be specific so it takes time to settle into the flow of a baby. It’s not all on your terms, you can’t micro manage your baby. 🤦🏼‍♀️Hello, you need to lower your expectations!  Yeah, I was told that quite a bit during my first year as a mother. 😬 There does seem to be a group of women who effortlessly manage their first baby with no worries though. But are they being honest about their experience? Surely not… right? 😏

Some people have less to worry about than others, this is true. But most of us are continually questioning if what we are doing is right. Is your baby gaining enough weight? Are you feeding regularly enough? Should your baby be eating that? Why isn’t baby sleeping when I’m following the routine? Then the emergencies, like when your baby is crying in public and people are watching on!😩

Once you have got through your child’s first year or so, I think you can see that they lived, no one died and shits going to be ok! You even get to a point where you feel like that wasn’t so bad after all, I could probably do it again in fact. 😄 You learn and grow over time, and I must say in my experience with the second baby if you have one, you really don’t have those anxieties you have with your first child. You feel more confident knowing you can do this and all the little factors, whether you breastfeed or bottle feed, whether you follow a routine or not, they will still live at the end and there’s not going to be a great deal of difference no matter what choices you make.

It is nice to arrive at a place where you feel confident and can own your decisions and your style of parenting. Power to you! 👊🏻 If your a first time mum it does get easier and if your a mother of many children I hope you can relate somewhat to my experience.

xx

 

2 thoughts on “Early motherhood & loss of confidence 

  1. Lucy,
    Very well said! I am following you all the way from Ohio and have been popping in to read your posts so decided to say hello. I think we do feel more confident after we get through the initial trials of motherhood, we can have the best examples in the world, but when it’s your life 24/7 and your the one that has to do it all now it can really hit you. I don’t think any mom hasn’t had moments of wondering if we’re doing it right and I will be honest and tell you whenever I came across the super confident mom you know the ones who tell you how they do everything right and everything is so perfect and there just isn’t any problems at all, blah blah I used to think Yeah and how much wine is she drinking after she puts her kids to bed? I think it helps other moms more to know that there can be difficulties, it is more down to earth and if you have never read Erma Bombeck you should she has wonderful motherhood stories! LOL
    Vicky

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