That’s a lot of pressure right?
I really believe children follow the mother’s tone. If Mum is happy and setting an example the day runs smoother with less tantrums and chaos. Mum is more equipped to handle blow outs in a calm manner. And we all know the saying happy wife happy life so it’s it applies to husbands too.
Mums don’t have a lot of time to sit around feeling sorry for themselves because it takes a lot of work to maintain a household and keep everybody happy. You always have to be on your toes and a few days of feeling miserable and doing fuck all really sets you back. But how can we be that ray of sunshine and why might it all be too hard other times?
There are many reasons. Poor health, lack of support, lack of sleep, a feeling of lack of purpose or recognition, poor self esteem after having undergone body changes since becoming a mother. It’s endless… but we can be proactive in lifting ourselves out of a hole.
I think if we identify what the main areas that are causing us to feel down we can better consider how to improve the situation. After all that’s what mums are for. Making shit better. Don’t you just want to be like, “Mum what’s for dinner?”, or “Mum I don’t feel good”, then you realise you are the mum. Damn.
There are several areas to pay attention to when thinking about our own happiness and needs. It applies to each family member but starting with ourself is priority. It’s the same as on a flight in an emergency, fit your face mask first before helping others.
- Time to spend with another person such as your spouse to have quality conversation, to praise and encourage one and other.
- Time to exercise and move as often as possible.
- Time to interact with people outside the family.
- Time to persue interests outside parenting such as reading, a hobby etc. Working mums are likely to have this covered during their work day.
If we can factor these needs into our week then we have better hope of staying on track and being in a good head space. For myself I felt I wasn’t able to maintain fitness since having kids and that was one thing I felt I was missing out on. Before children I was a bit of a gym junkie. So the solution is join a gym with a crèche or buy a running pram. I did the later and it has definitely improved my happiness (see Thule pram review in previous post).
Once you’ve considered meeting your needs you can think about how to meet the needs of other family members.